I can’t believe how emotional last night’s Loser made me. I was teary from the moment the contestants compared their old passport photos at the airport to the end where they reached the summit in New Zealand and freed themselves from the emotional baggage that being overweight brings.
Why it got me so cut up is that it reminded me of my similar experience in Hawaii last year and how life truly changed for me at that point. While I usually try to make these blogs my thoughts on what the contestants are doing, I’m going to share the experience I had on the hike, so I hope you don’t mind…
During Series 3, I had a reputation for being very excitable and animated especially by the time we got down to the ‘final six’ and travelled to Hawaii to face our fears. On the day of our hike, I started the journey all bright and chirpy, genuinely excited about filling my backpack with all the weight I’d lost.
But about halfway through the hike I started to become a little quiet and reserved; I started to lag behind the pack and the skip in my step started to go.
Bit by bit as I collected the physical weight I had lost over the weeks, I kept being reminded about how much my weight had controlled every part of my life before Loser. While I expected to feel physical strain from carrying 30 odd kilos, I just didn’t expect to feel the emotional weight that it brought back. It made me remember how limiting my weight had been, how much it felt like a prison, and how the bigger I became, the more me as a person slowly slipped away.
By the time I got to the top of the mountain I was very upset. I felt anger for what I’d done to myself; regret at all the years and experiences that had been wasted; and shame for letting myself get so overweight.
But when we dropped the backpacks, those feelings were lifted, released. Like Tiff shouted last night, I felt free!
You really don’t realise how far you’ve come until you’re put in this position, and for me it was the best lesson I will ever learn because it was there on that summit that I knew I would never go back. I will never, ever go back. The moment crystallized for me the life that I never want to live again, ever.
I always say that I discovered my inner strength while I was in Hawaii. Everything I had learned and everything I was discovering all clicked for me during that time. The experience is burnt on my memory and I still recall it on the difficult days or when I need to push aside the fear and remind myself that I can do anything.
That is the gift that I have gotten out of Loser. It truly is an amazing show that transforms people’s lives; there’s nothing else out there that’s like it. I am eternally grateful for my opportunity to take part in it and feel that I can never repay all the wonderful things that through it I have been given.
From the reactions last night, I suspect the hike has been a similar experience for Tiff, Cam, Sammy, Meaghan, Julie and Sean. I hope they remember it always, especially on days when they’re struggling with their food or don’t feel training.
I’m looking forward to seeing them face their fears on tonight’s episode – the look on Sammy’s face must be seen to be believed! Be sure to tune in at 7PM on TEN and check your inbox in the morning for my daily update.
Episode 57 highlights
If you missed last night's show, you can watch the full episode at The Biggest Loser TV show website.
Below I've shared the segment where the contestants reach the summit, release the burden of their backpacks and feel free, free, free!