Desperate to start her own family, Donna-Louise is fighting her weight-loss battle with brother Jamie at her side.
Update 10
Whoops! Didn’t find the time to enter my diary this week!
Update 9
Well, thought I would take a sneak peek at how much I had lost since last Wednesday tonight; 900g. I so desperately wanted to weigh-in at 105.9kg to rack up a loss of 20kg. I have a walk to the bus in the morning, gym at lunch and netball the next night so I may be able to bring it up to a loss of 1.2-1.3kg but even so, it won’t be enough. The good news is that I don't feel like giving up which is what I used to do. I am saying ‘no’ to emotional eating and I'm not upset – more frustrated at my body.
Update 8
Dear Diary,
Well I'm feeling good about the weigh-in this week. I've had two personal training sessions. My trainer, Toby, pushed me hard and also showed me a treadmill trick, which allows me to burn over 100 calories in five minutes. My eating has been great too so I am hoping for a loss of around 2kg this week (touch wood!). I'm feeling really good and my clothes are loose but I refuse to buy any more at the moment.
Now it is getting to the end of the competition, I am starting to freak out a bit. I need to lose 7.7kg and I don't want to go to Finale weighing somewhere around the 100kg mark. I know it won't be the end of the world and I know I will get there, but it’s just a matter of getting there on time. Not sure how I'm meant to push myself any more, though, as I am losing sleep as it is! No. I will do it! I have to. I’m stubborn and strong willed; I will get there!
Update 7
This week has been a good one. I avoided temptations and exercised really hard. Feeling quite good and I am excited about getting 109.9kg or less this week. I will do it! Had a really good workout with my personal trainer last night. He stepped things up a bit and I came out the other side a little sore but feeling good!
Poor Jamie had a bit of a shocker this week. I know how he feels. I always feel like I'm letting him down with my numbers. I'm so envious of Michael making his 20% goal. Everything he does from here is now a bonus. I want to get to that point too. I know I need to use my online diary but I am having all sorts of issues with our home and mobile phone so it's not so reliable to get on and log my food. I'm sure if I did this religiously that I would get better results; I just need to train myself to do things better.
I had my party yesterday for my birthday Tuesday and I fit into a pair of size 20 jeans! My mum's friend gave them to me and they weren't too tight. I didn't have to lie on the bed to get them done up so it was great! Mind you I know I'm not a standard size 20 yet, but that day is getting closer!
Update 6
Dear Diary
Well, this week was interesting with a trip to Sydney for filming and interviews. It was really good to catch up with everyone in the Second Chance team and it makes it easier to push on knowing how soon Finale is. I am worried about making that 99kg mark but really it’s a mental thing as when I was 141kg, getting under 100kg seemed impossible. Now I'm nearly there I want to get there so quick yet the past three weeks I've only just been able to pull over 1kg. I would like to buy a piece of size 16 clothing to wear to Finale but think I will have to settle with an 18.
I’m glad I haven't been at Camp Biggest Loser. I wasn't gutted as much as the others about not getting in, but I'm doing this on the outside meaning I have daily temptations to avoid and I really feel as though I'm doing this a better way; still living my life and losing the weight.
I'm starting to think about Finale now. I know Jamie is hell bent on us winning, whereas I just want to lose my 20%. If I need to perform at work, I know my capabilities and I know I can do it. As for this, I haven't known my body in years and it seems to hate me at times. I think I'm doing well, but then get on the scales to find I haven't moved an inch and other times I get such good results I wonder what I did differently. I can control my exercise, what I eat and my calories but sometimes it just doesn't feel like my body responds when I need it to. All I can do is keep plodding away, putting in the effort and I will get there. My aim is to be 75kg by Christmas or pregnant, but one challenge at a time.
Update 5
Dear Diary,
I have found my mojo! Today is the first day in a couple of weeks where I've thought, ‘yes I can do this!’ I am not sure if I can lose 20% of my starting weight by the end of the competition, but I am going to give it a good, hard go! I've started thinking that I could weigh less than 100kg by April and that’s so exciting! I am trying to find some pictures of me prior the Second Chance Challenge, but I like to dabble in photography so I am normally behind the camera and not in front of it. This, and feeling so ashamed of the way I looked in pictures, means that I have been very good at avoiding being photographed.
All-in-all, I am looking forward to this week. I went swimming in our friends’ pool and found the laps so much easier to do. I have to keep remembering these things and not get complacent. I know if I can put in a good effort over the next couple of weeks I can pull some good numbers. The last thing I want to do is let Jamie down.
I had a photo taken with Shannan and Michelle today when they visited the local shopping mall and you can see a difference. I have lost weight. I'm just sick of people saying they can see it in my face. I want it to go from around my waist! I will talk to Toby (my personal trainer) about that on Thursday I think. Plus only another 7kg and I think I will be able to start fitting back into my old clothes again. I put them away ages ago when I was in the ‘one day I'll wear that again’ mood. It’s great to know that that ‘one day’ is coming!
Update 4
I'm feeling a little bit better about things again this week. I am on holidays now and I have some gym sessions and personal training sessions booked in. During the sessions I really doubt myself but once they are done I feel really good. Not sure I will ever become a ‘gym junkie’ but I am certainly learning to like it more.
I need to get back into filling in my online diary, too. I guess it's easier when I'm at work because I am online all day, but while I am on holidays I don't always turn the computer on.
I have to admit that I have splurged as far as eating is concerned over the last few days. I have already lost some of the weight that I gained because of this and hopefully, a little more will go by the time I weigh-in next. In a way, allowing myself a ‘holiday’ in this way was good because it gave me an idea of how things would go if I was not being really careful about what and how much I was eating. It wasn't as if I gorged myself or only ate unhealthy stuff. As soon as I was full I stopped eating and only had two or three fun-size chocolates; the rest of the calories came from alcohol.
As much as all the exercise I am doing hurts, I know that it is what I need to do and I will see the results. Hopefully on Wednesday I will weigh-in under the 120kg mark. That seems like the hardest barrier to break at the moment!
Update 3
This week I had a day with Mum and Dad and a day off my program. Having come to the end of week four I thought I would check my weight; I was horrified to learn that I have put on 2kg! I am going back to the gym today and tomorrow to see if I can shed some of it by Wednesday when I weigh-in. I have to say that the weight gain has really ‘knocked me for six!’
I know that all of the changes I am making are a shift in my lifestyle and that they are the kind of things I need to do for life. If I was down to a weight of 75kg then the gain in weight probably wouldn't be such an issue, but one day off and look what happens! I am starting to wonder whether I will be able to maintain my weight loss. I guess it's too early to start thinking about that, I just need to get back on the wagon and see how I go.
Thankfully I am on holidays as of Wednesday next week so I will be putting my gym membership to full use. I want to lose at least 5kg over the next two weeks. Given that I am home and able to cook meals, I intend to put in a huge effort. I have to. There are just over seven weeks left in the Biggest Loser Club Second Chance Challenge and I really don't want to let Jamie down.
Update 2
Well, I started off really well this week and weighed in on Wednesday; I was 3.3kg lighter! I was happy with that and really wanted to push on this week with those sorts of numbers. However on Friday night I ‘fell off the wagon’ and had a couple of glasses of wine. I woke up on Saturday morning kicking myself so I thought I would take my gym gear to work (as I was due to do more overtime) and go straight to the gym from there. I was finishing at 3pm but when I checked the opening times of the gym, I found it closed at 4 o’clock so my bus wouldn't get me there until 3.45pm. Not really worth it! Instead I got off the bus two stops earlier and walked. It's an uphill walk and I really put a stride into my step and worked up a sweat but I didn't feel like it was enough.
I have been ‘umming’ and ‘aahing’ about whether or not to commit to a gym membership. I will use it during the next few weeks when I don't have netball and I won’t be walking with my friends but after that, I'm not sure that I will get there a lot, so I am not sure it is worth it. If I could afford it I would like to get a personal trainer. Perhaps it would be better to think about buying a treadmill, X-trainer and boxing set and working out in the gym upstairs at work instead.
........................................
Today, I didn't do any exercise and for the first time, I felt like this whole thing was all too hard. It was my first down day. I'll go to the gym upstairs from my work during my lunch break tomorrow and again tomorrow night and really push myself and perhaps that is all I will need to get motivated again. That and seeing the leaderboard change...
In fact, I am surprised how much my state of mind affects what I do. I am a bit down as I am really feeling the loss of my grandparents who died recently and I can't help but think that is the reason for my loss of motivation. I've only really been thinking about it over the past couple of days. Also, I feel tired through lack of sleep. Plus, I spent the day today with some friends; they all have children or have just had babies. I just need to toughen up, deal with it and get stuck into the gym. I will go and run it out tomorrow and sleep well tonight; it will be all good then!
Next weekend will be a little bit quieter so my next entry might be a little perkier, hopefully!
Goodbye week two, bring on week three!
Update 1
After going to Sydney and meeting everyone taking part in the Second Chance Challenge I wasn't sure if I was excited, overwhelmed, nervous or anxious about starting this. I was dubious a bit about doing the Meal Replacement Shakes. However, I have found the Shakes surprisingly easy and my partner, Ian, has been wonderful cooking every night for me. I've had to work overtime and most nights he is home before me and is cooking, so it has worked out really well. I think the main thing we need to do now is get into a routine.
My exercise has been at a minimum as I have had a horrid cold for the past week. I'm very conscious that it sounds like I am making excuses and I felt really bad about this. I really questioned whether I was just using my cold as an excuse. That was until I walked two extra stops to get the bus and felt wrecked for the rest of the day. I am feeling a lot better today though, and I even went to the gym for the first time. Wow, was that embarrassing! But I just put on my iPod and walked/drifted away. Everyone was so slim and fast on everything but I just had to push that aside. Tomorrow night is our last night of netball for the season so I will try to put in a good effort.
I weighed in on my scales at home on the Thursday and was disappointed to see a weight of 127.4kg (I had weighed in at 125.9kg in Sydney). I think at my first official weigh-in on Wednesday I will be able to get a better picture of things. I find I am weighing myself every second day, sometimes daily. I don't know that I will do this after Wednesday, but I think it's sort of healthy for me at the moment because it reminds me each day that I weigh just a bit less every day and that it is important to keep at it. At this rate, I will be less than 120kg soon and that will be great! Well off to bed for some ‘R and R’. Got a big day tomorrow and big week coming up!